A Sneaky Plan for Revenge on Malfoy
by James Potter II
Summary: The story of why Scorpius Malfoy is a horrible person, and why photos of me in a dress exist. Looking for the proof, come here. But be warned- you might not like what you hear. - James & Louis friendship vs. Scorpius Malfoy, hinted ScorRose and others.


**A Sneaky Plan for Revenge on Malfoy**

..

The sun breaks through the trees, shining all over my glorious face. I turn over, soaking up as much as the sun as is possible, because everyone knows that the sun shines for me and me only. Malfoy and Louis might beg to differ, but honestly, I've never cared about them.

Of course, Louis is determined to ruin my tanning time, as always. Running up to me, he says some jumbled mess of words I can't be bothered to understand. Honestly, and he calls _me_ stupid! I beg to differ.

I can't be bothered to do anything but lift an eyebrow. "I have _no_ idea what you just said."

He mutters something about ducks, which he apparently is terrified of, and then looks up at me. "I _said_, I saw my sister snogging _Malfoy_."

"Wait, Dominique?" I ask, my jaw dropping a little bit. "Last I heard, Malfoy was dating Rose! That boy gets around with my cousin. ARE YOU SNOGGING HIM TOO, LOUIS? Is there something you need to tell me? Are you _jealous_?"

Louis' face heats up, probably because he can't contain the passion for Malfoy anymore. Pleased, I just grin and wait for him to thank me for this opportunity to reveal his secret. He bursts out with, "NO, YOU IDIOT, I'M NOT SNOGGING MALFOY. He was snogging my sister and therefore, I have every right to be upset, because Malfoy is a git and my sister's only going to get hurt."

Disappointed, I let out a sigh. I'm always up for some good drama. "Oh, right. I don't get why girls don't like me, though. I mean, Malfoy pales in comparison to me."

Louis gives me another strange look. "James, they're your cousins!"

"Right," I remember, laying back down into the grass. "That might be a factor."

Obviously angry, Louis crosses his arms. "Look, James, aren't you angry that Malfoy keeps playing our cousins? We should do something about it or he's not going to _stop!_"

"You're right, you're right, of course," I tell him patiently. "So how about we come up with one of our infamous plans?"

"A sneaky plan for revenge on Malfoy," Louis rubs his hands together, and I'm left to wonder why Louis isn't a Slytherin like my sneaky brother Albus. "Can we prank him? Set him up? Dump him in the lake?"

I roll my eyes at Louis' childishness. Then, with a devious smile, I remind him, "We could always break up him and Dom."

Now, Louis doesn't look so comfortable, and I wonder why. Finally, he speaks, wringing his hands together. "James, I don't really want to. That would be breaking Dom as well as Scorpius, and really, she's our relative-"

"I get it," I sink back into the grass. "You have a soft side. Don't we all. Now, a new plan, then?"

"Threatening letters, first?" Louis suggests, his fingers looking as if they are eager to clutch a quill.

I nod. "Threatening letters from Weasley-Potters are always the worst kind."

"Especially when they're Howlers," Louis agrees.

..

Louis' handwriting reminds me of a prissy French girl's. He swirls his letters, curls his _l_s, and dots his _i_s with pretty dots. According to him, my handwriting looks like a chicken scrawled it. This is why we are sort of opposite at times.

He writes the first threatening letter because he claims that if I write it, no one will be able to read it. I get to dictate what he writes, though. Everyone knows that Veela-bred Louis is _not_ scary in the least.

This is what he writes and I dictate:

_Dear ugly Malfoy,_

_Did you know that you were born into a family of ferrets?_

_Anyway, we know as well as you do that you're playing our cousins. Honestly, Dominique and Rose? Who's next, Roxanne? Need to slow down there, Lover Boy!_

_This is a threat! Show it to the police, see if we care. Keep playing our relatives and we're coming for you!_

_Lions can take ferrets any old day!_

_Oh, and by the way, both of us are way sexier than you could ever _hope_ to be. Deal with it._

_Hate,_

_James Potter and Louis Weasley_

Louis signs it with a flourish as always, and I try not to laugh about how very much it reminds me of Victoire's handwriting. I grab Lily's horrid owl, and it gives me a customary bite on my finger. Cursing under my breath, I attach the letter to the owl and command it to go to Malfoy Manor to deliver the letter.

After a moment of bickering back and forth with the owl, I finally watch as it flies away into the sky. Turning to Louis, I exclaim, "Let's go get some food! I'm _really _hungry and, uh, raven-us."

"Ravenous," Louis laughs.

"I'm both!" I exclaim haughtily, dashing down the stairs until I come upon some bread and peanut butter. My dad claims peanut butter sandwiches are 'the best Muggle food ever'. I beg to differ, but I still don't mind the sandwiches.

I fix a sandwich as fast as I can, handing another to Louis. Biting into one, I scowl. "So, Louise…"

"It's Louis," Louis protests, biting his lip and staring at the sandwich. "_Louise_ is a girl's name, and I'm a very sexy boy, thank you very much."

"I'm sexier," I say with a shrug. "Sorry, Louisa, it's just a fact of life…"

"I'm part-_Veela_; girls love me," Louis sings, crossing his arms across his chest. "Girls hate you, on the other hand…"

"Name one," I raise an eyebrow, sifting through my memory- who in the _world_ could ever hate me? I'm just a lovely boy, always so kind and caring, never doing a thing wrong. I'm flawless, can't they all see it?

"That redhead Slytherin you're always asking out," Louis sings, taking another bite of his sandwich and flipping his sleek hair as he chews. "She's always turning you down, in case you haven't noticed." The frown on his face turns up into a cocky smile, one so typical of Louis.

"Okay, look here, Louie," I retort, ready to yell something, when the owl soars back in to the room.

Glancing at each other, Louis and I run to it at the same time. We struggle over it for a moment, nearly ripping it half, but he finally claims it. Out loud, he reads, "Dear Potter and Weasley, I don't know what your problem is. Yes, I am snogging Dom, and yes, I used to go out with Rose. Is it really that big a deal? _My_ life, my decisions. It's not as if your cousin isn't snogging my sister as well, so chill. And everyone knows that Rose is crushing on my cousin now. So just calm down and go jump off a cliff or something. Rid the world of idiots."

"Hate, Scorpius," we finish in unison, before Louis rips the letter to shreds and throws it into the fire. The two of us glance at each other.

"He's snogging my sister!" Louis erupts at last, wrapping his arms around a pillow and punching it over and over.

"Chill, Louis," I try. "I mean, it could be worse."

"How?" Louis replies dangerously, his blue eyes clouded with something terrifying that I've never seen there before. "_How_, James?"

"She could be snogging his sister," I reply, smirking at him, and then we both burst into laughter because it's _so_ true.

We decide not to bother with a reply. It's best to go straight to the source.

..

Though I've just turned seventeen, I can't Apparate, much to my dismay and the dismay of my father. The thing is, when I try to Apparate, I always end up somewhere that I'm not supposed to be. Once it was a bathroom, I'm not telling you where, though. Let's just not say I'm not allowed there anymore.

Another time, it was a bar where my _sister_ was. She's not supposed to be in bars. She tried to blackmail me not to tell, the Slytherin, but I told anyway. I guess I'm just not all that good with secrets.

Then there was that time with Malfoy, but let's not even _talk_ about that.

Anyway, I don't try anymore, because I always end up in all the wrong places. So when Louis demands that we Apparate to Malfoy's, I don't know what to say. Does he _really_ want to end up in the ladies' room at Madam Rosmerta's?

"Can't we just fly?" I ask nervously, staring up at the sky.

"It's a few _miles_," Louis exclaims, and I feel sort of confused, because Louis is a Quidditch player. "Some Muggle could see us!"

"What do I care?" I reply. Disregarding Louis' protests, I run back to the back of the house and hop on a broom, soaring off to the sky.

After a moment of hesitation, Louis follows me, and we end up crashing into the chimney of Malfoy's house.

Good plan, right?

I fall down, knowing that there's nothing to cushion me, and end up falling on Malfoy's dad. He should consider himself lucky, really, because I mean, everyone wants to be fallen on by _James Potter_. But instead, he pushes me off of him rather forcefully and then glares at me. "_Potter_? You're here, too?"

"Yes," I reply, scrambling to my feet and trying to keep all the dignity that I can. "Yes, I'm here, aren't you just _thrilled_?"

"Not especially," Mr. Malfoy gives me a dirty look that I pointedly ignore before dusting himself off and taking off.

I don't really consider what he means by _too_- for all I know, it could be a grammatical error, Malfoys seem to be full of those. But once I get inside, I realise that it wasn't a grammatical error. In fact, he knows more about it than I do.

My sister- my _baby_ sister Lily- is inside, snogging Scorpius Malfoy.

I let out a girly, high-pitched shriek. Louis begins to stutter, but no words come out.

Lily jerks away from Malfoy, sending the two of us pointed looks. "Do you _mind_? Scorpius and I are busy, here!"

She kisses him again, and it feels sort of like I'm stuck in a nightmare. All I can do is mutter to myself before I march up to the two of them and jerk my sister off of Malfoy so that he doesn't continue to _eat_ her like he's been doing.

"What the _heck_ do you think you're doing?" I demand, looking from Malfoy to my sister.

Lily's tone is bored. "Snogging Malfoy."

"Well, yesterday he was snogging Dominique!" I yell, crossing my arms. "Honestly, Malfoy, can't you just pick one of my relatives and stay with them?"

"No," Malfoy replies simply, resting an arm on my sister's shoulder. I feel sort of like vomiting all over the two of them, and feel that, at this point in time, it might actually be a good idea. It would certainly give me some sort of sick satisfaction. Malfoy would look a lot better covered in Potter-vomit.

"You're an idiot," I reply simply, but then Malfoy whistles with his two skinny pale fingers and one of his house-elves shows up. Grabbing one of my hands with strength like an iron vice and Louis' with his other hand, he Apparates. The world spins and I end up on some length of dusty road.

Tossing us our brooms (I have no idea where the heck he got them), he waves in a creepy fashion, saying, "Hope you enjoyed your stay, sirs!" and pops away.

I look to Louis and groan. "We need to put this plan into action and_ soon._"

..

So that's how Louis and I ended up wearing our sister's dresses. Both dresses are a bit too small for us- Lily and Dominique are both freaking _tiny_- but we pick the biggest ones that they have and squeeze into them.

Louis plops one of his mum's French-y hats on his head, the one with all the flowers and fruit. "I feel like a crème puff."

"Your sister is a Hufflepuff, that's close enough," I tell him with a laugh, unscrewing my mum's lipstick. My nose curls up at the putrid colour- it looks like the colour of blood. But I think about my sister, how I have to do this for my sister, and I smear it all over my lips.

It makes me look like a clown, so I smudge some on my tissue and grab the eye shadow. Louis attacks me with some mascara wand or something.

After twenty minutes of scrambling to put on makeup, Louis and I look like ladies, and rather sexy ones if I do say so myself.

Louis puts a hand on his hip. "I feel pretty."

"As do I," I second, clapping in the way that I've seen Victoire do a few times. "We're off, then?"

We ride off on our brooms, stopping right outside the gate to the Malfoys' house. Grumpily, I get off my broom and ring the bell.

Scorpius' mother, a rather hot lady, comes and opens the door for us. She raises an eyebrow. "You're here for the party, I assume?"

"Yes, we are," Louis says in his normal tone, and the lady gives him a weird look. I nudge him, and he starts over, clearing his throat. "I mean, _yes, we are_."

"All right, then," Scorpius' mum forces a smile, opening the gate. Clutching our purses, Louis and I walk into the room.

"Where's Malfoy?" I hiss under my breath.

"Over there," Louis motions to the heartbreaker. I strut over to him, keeping my hands on my hips the whole time and attempting a sultry smile.

Fluttering my insanely long eyelashes, I greet him. "Malfoy."

"Who are you?" Malfoy replies, looking utterly charmed, and really, who could blame him?

I giggle. "I'm… I'm _Jane_, Jane P- Pringle."

"Nice to meet you, Jane," Malfoy tells me, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Care to dance?"

It feels so very icky, but I can't refuse at this point because really, everyone is depending on me. So I bite my lip and bear it, nodding. The music plays and oh my _Merlin_, here I am, dancing with another guy, my worst enemy. I force myself to bear it for another two minutes.

Then Malfoy leans in to kiss me and I don't bother bearing it any longer.

"Ew!" I scream, and I grab a cup of punch off the table and pour it over his head.

My sister runs over, looking from me to Malfoy with a horrified face. "What _happened_?"

"That horrible boy tried to kiss me!" I shriek, throwing my arms up as if I am innocent.

"Malfoy, how could you?" Lily yells.

The sound of her slap rings out all over the house, possibly disrupting the party.

Louis and I get the _heck_ out of there.

..

This is the story of why Scorpius Malfoy is a horrid person, and why those photos of me in a dress exist.

..

_I know I said I wasn't posting any stories, but the world has to know how horrid Malfoy is! Read and review; don't fave without reviewing or whatever._

_You know you love me and can't resist my sexy face. *puppy dog eyes, whipping hair*_


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